Plan B -- Suggestions Welcome!

When I got laid off, I never imagined it would take more than a year to find a new job—but that’s where I find myself.  It has been a frustrating, depressing, soul-crushing experience.  So, while I will continue to search for fulfilling work in Southern California, I need to come up with a Plan B.  And Plan B means living somewhere affordable—which obviously isn’t Southern California.

Here’s what I need: 

Water.  I LOVE the ocean! I wanted to live near it all my life and was very happy when I got here 30 years ago.  I know that living near an ocean is pricey, so I’m willing to trade it for a lake or a river, with a nice running path nearby.

Warm weather.  After 30 years in SoCal, my blood has gotten thinner.  Not sure I can re-acclimate to freezing temps. Plus, I don’t want to buy a winter wardrobe, so any place that consistently goes below 45 -50 degrees probably isn’t an option.

Airport.  If not a major airport, at least a decent-sized one that can get me to a hub so I can make connections.  My brother and aunt still live in Ohio, and I need to be able to get back to see them.

I’d also like low rates of smokers, and high rates of Democrats, but beggars can’t be choosers, so I’ll have to take my chances on those two items. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that I get lucky! I know that moving costs an arm and a leg, but with a lower housing cost, (even as little as $500 less a month) I can make that up in less than a year.

 So, let me hear your suggestions! Hopefully, Plan A will come to fruition and I won’t have to implement Plan B, but I’m the type who likes to be prepared.

Failure, Success, and the Election

I was just reading an article titled ‘16 Places That Shaped the 2016 Election’.  One of them is, embarrassingly, my hometown: Youngstown, Ohio.  It says people there, who are down on their luck, believe that Trump will help them get better jobs, make more money, have a better life.  I have some simple, basic questions:  Are you really that dumb???  Seriously! How do you think he is going to do that? Please explain the specifics to me—how, exactly, is that going to happen?

Because here’s the truth:  Do you know who is going to help you get a better job, make more money and have a better life?  It’s you.  You, alone.  No one, not Trump or Hillary, or Obama or Reagan or anyone who has ever lived at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, is going to get you a job—unless, of course, you’re working in the White House.  It’s up to you.  Your experience, your education, your resolve, your drive.  You alone own your failures and successes.  I own mine.  I’m unemployed right now. I was laid off because the small company I worked for had some major financial difficulties. My life completely sucks right now. I’m smart enough to know it’s not the President’s fault.  It has nothing to do with anyone in Washington DC. It’s the fault of a small company that made very poor financial choices. Fortunately, because I personally made smart financial choices, I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to pay my rent or buy food.  Sure, I’ll cut back on things I’d like to do (no golf for a while), or things I’d like to have (new shoes are out of the question).  I’ll delay things like the wheel alignment and air filter my car needs simply because I don’t know when I’ll get another paycheck.  But I’m not going to rely on the President to get it for me.  I’m relying on myself.

The job of a President is at a far higher level than the Trump supporters seem to understand.  The industries and companies that will hire you, in your community, are there because of local and state incentives rather than federal policies. It’s your Governor, or City Council, that woos a company to open shop in your city. It’s your city council and planning commission that write the zoning laws that allow a business to operate.  If you want better opportunities for yourself, these are the candidates you need to hang your hat on. They won’t get you a job either, but they’ll bring a company to town that might hire you.

I’m tired of turning on the news and hearing people say Trump is going to save them.  It makes me feel sorry for them, especially those in my hometown.  He won’t save you.  He can’t.  It’s up to you. Be self-reliant.  And vote on November 8^th—vote the entire ballot.  Make sure you know who is running for your local city offices, make sure you know what they stand for. They are the ones who directly affect what happens in your community.  And you are the one who directly affects what happens in your life. Own it!

Spotlight: Blame, Truth, and my vote for Best Picture Oscar

I saw the Oscar nominated move Spotlight, about the Boston Globe reporters who exposed the Catholic Church child molestation scandal.  It is an excellent movie, and while I won’t ruin for those who haven’t seen it yet, the most powerful part is the writing on the screen at the end.  I think every Catholic—born, raised, practicing or lapsed—should see this film.

The disheartening thing is the reaction some people have to the newspaper/reporters and the movie/actors.  This misplaced sentiment was summed up in the comments section of an article in the Irish Times touting the release of the movie in Ireland next week.  A woman commented only about the stars of the movie: “enough filth on screen from the lot of them to corrupt a whole continent. Who are they trying to kid? Gimme a break!” She went on the call actor Mark Ruffalo a ‘pro-choice abortion liberal’.  Seriously???

She is slamming the entire body of work of an ensemble of actors doing a good enough job to garner Oscar nominations by portraying Pulitzer-winning journalists—but is OK with priests raping children?  Wow!  Unfortunately, she isn’t the only person who feels this way.  Of course there are good people and excellent priests in the church.  No one is denying that.  But blaming actors and writers, instead of the perpetrators of horrific crimes against children, is absolutely insane.  Sweeping this, or any, scandal under rug is so incredibly misguided.  Having faith in a God or a religion is fine, just don’t confuse it by having blind allegiance to fallible human beings.  No God condones preying on vulnerable children.  Look at the big picture.  The actors and journalists were doing their jobs, the disgraced priests weren’t.  

Winning the Lottery

Do you really want to win the $1.3 billion Powerball lottery?  You know it will ruin your life.  You'll find out exactly how many true friends you actually have: zero.  Say you decide to go to  happy hour, your usual spot where they charge $4 for a Bud Light and $5 for spinach artichoke dip until 6pm.  You always get there by 5pm so you can take advantage of the deals.  But now you've got a couple hundred million dollars in  your pocket and your friends will expect you to pick up the tab.  Sure, you can afford it, but for a $15 tab, so can they.  If you don't buy, it'll eat away at them that you're stingy.  If you do buy every time, it'll eat away at you that they are only using you for the money.  Then they are going to suggest going to Spago or Capitol Grill instead of Lazy Dog or Claimjumper.  And when you show up in your new Tesla, your friends will start to complain that their car is a piece of shit, that it needs new tires that are too expensive, how they wish they could afford a new car.  But all they are thinking is "Man, why don't you suggest buying me a new Lexus? It's only $40 grand.' You'll each begin to resent the other.  Money changes people.  It changes the ones who suddenly have it, and their 'friends' who expect a free ride. 

Would we all like a little extra money in our wallets?  Sure.  I'd love to able able to stop saying 'Thanks, but I can't afford that', 'Sorry that restaurant is too expensive for me', 'That concert is way too much', 'Can we play the cheaper public course instead?'  Winning the lottery won't allow me to do that--not with my same friends and my same life.  So here's what I'm going to do.  I'll read the articles about the huge jackpot, I'll watch the news hyping it all up, and I'll drive right on by the liquor store with all those long lines.  Then I'll meet my friend at Claimjumper where I will order the $4 beer and $2 pretzels. Cheers!

Idiots, Entitlement, and Travelling at Christmas

      I travel at Christmas.  December 27^th is generally the busiest post-Xmas travel day and I always fly on that day.  Unfortunately, this year it also brought a massive storm with tornados to the central section of the United States.  And if you travel from one coast to the other, your connecting flight was somewhere in the weather-affected middle of the country.  I know it’s a busy travel day.  I know there is always the possibility of bad weather resulting in delays and cancellations.  I can accept all of that.  What I can’t accept is the people who don’t seem to understand those simple concepts. 

Here’s what happened: tornados damaged nearly 1500 homes and killed at least 11 people in Dallas—my connection point.  After a 4-hour delay, my flight took off for Dallas. We were at the point where I knew we should be landing when the pilot made an announcement:  “Well folks, we are 70 miles out but they have just shut down DFW and we are in a holding pattern.  We have enough fuel because we planned for this, and hopefully we’ll have an update in 25 minutes or so”.  We flew around for another hour.  Once we landed, the pilot made another announcement:  “I can tell you this now, because we got lucky.  We were heading to Austin when they lifted the holding pattern and let us land.”  Whew!!  So, we made it to Dallas—alive and well. 

Thousands of flights were cancelled, hundreds of thousands travelers were affected.  Everyone was standing in hours-long lines to rebook their flights.  I feel sorry for the airline employees who have to deal with this and I am extra nice to them, since a lot of morons aren’t.  It’s a hard job that I simply could not do without crying or punching someone.  They get blamed for the bad weather conditions all the time.  They are airline employees, not God, so I know it's not their fault. 

Anyhow, I’m standing in a very long line when I see this guy walk up to the counter—bypassing the hundred or so of us in line.  Fortunately, the gate agent pretty much ignored him and he eventually walked away.  An hour later, when I’m maybe 4^th in line now, he comes back. 

He says “I know I’m not going to Hawaii tonight but…” 

The gate agent cut him off and said. “No you aren’t going to Hawaii tonight.”  A bunch of us in line started laughing. at him.

Then he says “Yeah, but I can’t stand in this line for 6 hours.”  Seriously dude??!!  The passenger who was 2^nd in line, says “We’ve all been standing in line.”  Thousands of us have been standing in long lines at every gate in DFW—patiently waiting. Who the hell do you think you are?  Where did you develop this skewed sense of entitlement that makes you think you can go to the front of the line?  I was really hoping someone would punch him.  I wouldn’t start the fight, but I’d certainly join in. 

Then there was the older woman who got her stand-by voucher, but obviously thought the gate agent was wrong by not giving her an assigned seat.  Once again, thousands of flights were cancelled.  If you are being rebooked, you’re going stand-by, especially on an already overcrowded Christmas flight.  So, this woman has to quiz every subsequent passenger and ask if we were given stand-by vouchers.  She shouldn’t have asked me.  I’d been up 20 hours at that point and was not in the mood for idiots.  I snapped at her “Of course I have stand-by.  All the flights were cancelled.  We all have stand-by.”  I forced myself to walk away before I said “Are you really that fucking dumb??”  

Later I was sitting at my stand-by gate, charging my cell phone and overhearing another lady complaining that she had a confirmed seat and now only had a stand-by seat, and that the customer service people didn’t know what they were doing.  After complaining to everyone else, this bitch sits next to me.  I’m praying that she doesn’t say anything to me.  Wrong!  Tells me about her confirmed seat.  Hey, news flash:  we all had confirmed seats on our original flights, you moron!  Then she says she has to go to work on Monday or might get fired.  First of all, your government agency will not fail if you don’t make it to work.  You are replaceable.  Get over yourself!  Secondly, if you work for such inhuman freaks that they would fire you because your flight was cancelled and the airline refused to gamble with your life and take off in tornadic conditions, you should be grateful.  Must be horrible people to work for--go find a new job!  Said she was going to write a long letter to American Airlines.  Really?  What are you going to write?  ‘Dear American Airlines, How dare you create tornados.  It’s your fault the weather is bad.  Why wasn’t I given precedence over all the other people who are in this same situation?’  Seriously, what are you going to write???  Here’s what I would write. 

“Dear American Airlines, Thank you for getting me home safely.  I understand that you can’t fly in severe weather and that’s in my best interest.  Thank you for planning ahead with extra fuel so we could fly around and not end up in a different city, which would have made the delay even longer.  Thank you for the pleasant attitude of your employees—even when dealing with so many unpleasant customers.  I especially loved the gate agent in Pittsburgh who said she was looking forward to having a martini when this was all over.  I hope she enjoys that drink when she finally gets it.  It’s really unnecessary for your pilots and flight attendants to apologize for the weather, but they always do. Thank you for all of it—flying is an adventure.  See you next time!”

My Christmas Wish List

My Christmas Wish List

• To never have to hear about or see Donald Trump, Bruce Jenner or any Kardashian ever again.
• A miracle cure for ALS—as fast as possible.
• That slow-ass men who can’t hit a golf ball more than 100 yards stop playing from the blues—especially when they are the foursome in front of me.
• A raise, or a new job that actually pays me enough to live in Southern California.
• For people to stop texting at the gym while sitting on weight equipment and machines.
• For everyone to love Mother Earth and reduce, reuse and recycle.
• For the NRA to fold up and disband.
• To finally lose that last 5 pounds.
• That our impending El Nino causes only minimal damage and no deaths.
• To find someone to share my life with.
• That gas prices stay under $2.50 forever.
• For more laughter and fewer tears around the world.
• For the Browns to trade Johnny Manziel so that I never see him in Brown and Orange again.
• Clean water for the 700 million-plus people worldwide who currently lack access to it.
• An end to ‘reality-show’ television.
• Peace—before it’s too late.

Life as a Browns Fan

For the most part, it's a painful existence being a die-hard fan of the Cleveland Browns. The once-storied franchise (before I was born) has become mired in mediocrity. Ever since devil-incarnate Art Modell pulled the rug out from under us by moving the team to Baltimore, we haven't been able to put together a winning season. There are plenty of excuses: Poor draft choices from the beginning: I mean, who drafts a QB from a basketball school? Who follows that up with a QB who is old enough to retire on draft day? Who picks a short guy with questionable arm strength and lots of off-field issues? Yep, the Browns. This is a reflection of bad management and lack of football knowledge. I'm not sure the people in charge in Cleveland actually know all that much about football. Then, of course, there are injuries, but all teams deal with those. We currently have a QB who everybody says is one of the toughest guys they know. He has sacrificed himself physically this season without getting any love in return. Lots of excuses that all teams in any pro sport deal with at various times. Why can't we break out of this vicious cycle? The shocking thing is that it is statistically impossible to be as bad as the Browns have been since we came back to the NFL in 1999. Statistically IMPOSSIBLE! Many teams come up with unbelievable ways to win games. We come up with unbelievable ways to lose games. Did you catch last night's match-up with the Ravens? I watched it at my usual Brownsbackers bar. It was a relatively good game, with back and forth scoring, and a decent look at our 2nd string QB, who threw an awesome long yardage pass for a TD. The Browns came from behind to tie the game late in the 4th quarter. I was confident we were going to win with a field goal. Worst case scenario was going into overtime. Holy crap--how many times is there actually a blocked kick? Believe me, it's not that often. But if some freak occurrence is going to happen, it's going to happen to the Browns. That damn blocked kick was run back for a touchdown as time ran out. But, you know what happened after that? After everyone was done swearing and bemoaning our bad luck once again? We all said "Hey, see you next Sunday!" Because we are Browns fans and we'll be back. It's what we do. Through thick and thin, in good times and in bad, for better or worse, till death do us part. And maybe not even then, since I fully expect to go to a heaven where the Browns never lose. Hopefully, I won't have to wait that long. And some day, before I die, we'll win a Superbowl. And it's going to be freaking glorious! See you on Sunday. Go Browns!!